Actually
by YoungLove08
Summary: Brittany has to cancel plans with Sam. She claims she's sick. What's 'buggin' her? Glee, Actually.


I don't really know… I just had this idea about how 'Glee, Actually' COULD go. But won't go. Because it's Glee. And Bram.

* * *

A loud ring blares through your bedroom and you quickly grab the cell that's been placed on the bedside table to your right.

"Hello?"

You answer nervously and you're not so sure what that means at this point in time.

"Hi, Brittany!"

"Hey Sam…"

"Hey… are you okay? What's wrong?"

How he's always able to pick up on your tone so quickly, you'll never know. It's something only one other person has ever mastered…

"Nothing, I'm just not feeling well. I actually was about to call you and ask if we could postpone our plans?" You almost whisper the question, afraid to in any way crush the boy's general exuberance for life.

"Oh…" you cringe at the disappointment evident in his voice, "hey, that's okay! We have all winter to go ice skating."

You can practically see the giant smile spread across those fish lips. You'd usually find that adorable, but at the moment it only causes you to frown in response.

"So what's ailing you, pretty lady?"

"I'm just… my throat is a little sore and I'm really tired. I think I just need to sleep it off," you force out an exaggerated hoarseness in hopes it will become more believable.

"Aw, okay. I hope you feel better though! Do you need anything?"

"No, Sam. I'm alright. Thank you though… that's really sweet of you."

"Of course! You know I hate seeing anything but a smile on that face of yours."

"I know, Sam."

And this time a small smile does manage its way to your lips.

"Well, get some rest. I'll call you later to check in?"

"Sounds good."

"Bye, Britt!"

"Bye, Sam."

As you hang up the phone you let out a heavy sigh, before turning back to your bed.

* * *

You don't know how you didn't see this coming. He's such a great guy; of course he'd come check on you. But you're not ready for him. You're so not ready for him.

When you hear the knock at the door, your heart beat picks up tenfold. You know what's about to happen before you have any time to process it. And as the doorknob starts to turn, you have no choice but to accept the fate you're about to be handed.

"Hey, Britt…" He's speaking hesitantly, as if afraid you're sleeping and not wanting to wake you up and God, at that moment you would give anything for that to be the case, "I brought you some soup. Your mom said I could come right in but I –"

When his blonde head fully pops through the small crack, that's the moment your brain finally kicks in and tells your body to start moving. As you grab for the sheets, you're floundering trying to think of some way for this to look like anything other than what it is.

"Sa… Santana?" he whispers in broken disbelief.

Oh, God. That's it. There it is. You've officially done it. You've hurt the one person that's been there for you through all of this. And at that, you can't help but wrap your arms around your calves and drop your head to your knees.

"What the hell does it look like, Trouty? Could you like, give us a minute to get decent?"

"S-sorry. I'll just… um, yea. I'll just be downstairs."

You hear the discomfort in his voice and then hear the sound of the door shutting and you know he's gone, but you refuse to look up to confirm it. Not when you can feel the tears beginning to form at the edges of your closed eyelids.

You can feel the shuffle next to you and warm arms wrap around you. For the first time ever since you've had those toned arms to hold you, you flinch just the tiniest bit… and everything is just so wrong. That's when the sobs start raking through your body.

"Britt… please don't cry. There's nothing I hate more in this world than seeing you cry."

You feel her hand brush a piece of hair off your forehead and tuck it behind your ear and you shake your head trying to prepare yourself to talk. You lift your head slightly and turn to face her.

"I'm so mad at you, you know?"

Her face is stoic, but she nods.

"I know.'

"And he— he, Sam, he – he is the last person to deserve this."

You're trying to steady your breaths, but it's getting more and more difficult.

"I know."

She's consistently running her hand through your hair now, a calming mechanism that has always seemed to work on you when it comes to her.

"I just… you're it, though. You're it. But honestly San, these past few months I might've wished it was him instead."

Her hand stills in your hair. She's about to remove it, but you quickly reach up with your left hand to keep hers in place. Your eyes fiercely connect with hers and that's when you first notice that she's crying too.

"I… I understand."

She mumbles it, lacking the confidence you're so used to her sporting and it only makes your heart ache more. It's now you realize she may need a bit of reassurance. This time around, you'll give it to her.

"Santana, you're always going to be the one. You're my other half. And although you really hurt me, nothing is going to change that."

You squeeze her hand, hoping you got your point across.

"… I am so sorry, Britt. You have no idea how sorry I am."

You don't know when she went from tearing up to full on sob city, but her cheeks are becoming drenched and you really don't want her to feel like you've felt. So you reach out your hands and cup her cheeks, wiping away the streaks as they come. You lean your forehead to hers and you look into deep brown and you finally see her again, the girl you fell in love with so many years ago.

"San… I'm willing to try this again, but under one condition."

She looks up with hope filled in her eyes as they dart back and forth scanning your eyes as if trying to determine if this moment is real or a fantasy.

"Anything, Britt-Britt."

"I know you'll have to go back school eventually. So, leave me physically as you must… but if you EVER leave me emotionally again, I am done. I do not have the emotional strength to do this again, Santana. With you… it literally takes all of me."

Your eyes flicker down because you almost feel ashamed to admit to her the extent of her power over you. But you know she would never purposely take that for granted. She lifts your chin up to make sure you're looking at her before she responds.

"Britt… I don't even know how to begin to function without you in my life. The last two months I've been a ghost. I'm not leaving again. I can't. I'm bound to you."

You think you feel your heart explode and that's all you need to hear before you pull her impossibly closer and bring your lips together. You wrap your arms around her and pull her in, and there's so much being said with this one kiss. It's painful, really. It's like the best and worst thing at the same time because it's a reminder of what you've really been missing for these past few months. It's this overwhelming feeling of being sliced through your chest while having it filled at the same time and you sob into it before eventually just collapsing in her arms. She holds you tight and you bury your face in her neck.

"I love you so much, it's killing me."

"I know the feeling. We're going to make it better though. Together, we'll make it better," she whispers into your ear and it doesn't hurt so badly for a second.

You just sit there, in each other's arms for a few minutes; silently rocking back and forth. When your eyes are dry enough you pull back, keeping your hands on her shoulders. She smiles at you and you feel lighter. Then you remember there's something else you have to do. She must recognize the change.

"What is it?"

"I need to go talk to Sam."

She takes a breath and nods.

"Do you want me to come with you?"

You shake your head quickly.

"No… no, it's best if I do this alone."

"Okay I'll wait here, babe," she says as she places a soft kiss to your forehead. You smile at her and fully clothe yourself before heading out the bedroom door.

* * *

When you find Sam, he's sitting on the couch in your living room in silence. His right knee is bobbing up and down nervously and he's running a hand through his blonde locks. You slowly make your way over to him and quietly take a seat next to him just as he notices your arrival. He looks up to you and you attempt to give him a small smile, but you only get a tight lipped response.

"Hi," you lamely attempt because you have no idea how to start this conversation.

"Hi."

It's brutal. He's never like this. He surprises you when he speaks again.

"I thought we… Was I—did I have this wrong? Because I thought there was something going on here," He huffs out in a defeated sigh.

You quickly shake your head.

"No, you didn't have it wrong… I did. Sam, I'm sorry but I shouldn't have led you on… I just didn't realize I was doing it. I was so messed up when Santana broke up with me, and you were there for me and I am SO thankful for that. I really do care about you, but I'm still in love with her and I should've been honest with you… I should've been honest with _myself_."

He sighs and looks you dead in the eye.

"After everything? You're taking her back? I mean, I picked you up off the floor, Britt. Where was she? She wasn't there. I was. I'm the one who was getting 2 AM phone calls from you sobbing because you just needed to know that SOMEONE was there. I'm the one who met you after every class to walk you to the next one to make sure you didn't have a breakdown on the way. I'm the one who helped find you a tutor so that you had someone to help focus you when your girlfriend left you alone to deal with a second attempt at graduation. I'm the one who was there, Brittany. I'm the one who's been right here."

He's not angry as he says this to you. He's just stating the facts. And he really just sounds genuinely confused. Because he's right about every single thing he said. So how could you choose her? But that's the thing… it's not a choice. It never was.

"You're right, Sam. You were the one who did all those things for me, but she's… she's…"

"She's THE one," he laughs lightly. And it's not in mockery. It's more of a realization, like the answer has always been there and he's just now seeing it. You can't help but smile because you know he gets it. And you know he's not mad.

"Yeah… she's the one. She's it. She's my bitchy, stubborn, hot-headed soul mate. And I'm telling you, Sam, sometimes I'd love to go all Lima Heights Adjacent on that girl. But in the end… all I really want to do is love her."

He lets out a deep sigh.

"Okay."

"Okay?"

"Okay."

He smiles widely and offers his arm to you. He pulls you into a big hug and from one friend to another friend; he's telling you it's going to be okay.

"Oh, but Britt?"

"Yeah?"

"You've got to get her to stop calling me Trouty Mouth."

You laugh loudly and stand up, heading back upstairs to your girlfriend. You throw one last look over your shoulder.

"Yeah, there's no way that's going to happen," you say with a wink before taking the stairs two at a time back to the one person you know you'll always be relieved to see, through thick and thin.

* * *

2 hours earlier

_As you hang up the phone you let out a heavy sigh, before turning back to your bed._

You immediately lock eyes with her and any guilt you had felt seconds before alleviates from your body as she softly brushes her left hand up and down your right arm.

You can't believe your looking into her eyes again. You feel so content; so warm.

"We should probably—"

"Shh… no, not yet. Please."

"Okay."

"Okay?"

"Okay."

And your lips are being calmly pummeled by plump ones. Before you know it, you're headily attached to her again, just like you were 30 minutes ago when she barged into your room and told you she loved you and told you she was sorry and told you she needed to be with you again. You didn't even know she was in town but you also don't know how your lips found hers and her fingers found their way between your legs before you were ever able to give her a verbal response. All you know is that the next few hours of your day are going to be life-altering.

* * *

Glee actually IS all around. NO JUST KIDDING. Stupid Glee. Love these two though. Ugh Brittana babies.

Thanks for reading,

xoxAsh


End file.
